Divorced and back-to-school: How to handle school calendars, drop-offs, and custody conflicts
Back-to-school season can be hectic for any family, but for divorced or separated parents, the logistics can feel like a second full-time job. From coordinating drop-offs and pickups to keeping up with homework, school events, and communication, it takes planning, cooperation, and clear boundaries to keep everything on track.
In our Ohio family law practice, we often work with clients who are trying to minimize friction with the other parent to keep the focus on their child’s education and well-being.
Below are practical tips for navigating the school year as a co-parent.
Get on the same page about the calendar.
School calendars fill up fast. With early dismissals, conference days, picture day, sports practice, fall plays, it’s easy for things to fall through the cracks.
Choose a shared system and stick with it: tools like Google Calendar, OurFamilyWizard, or Cozi allow both parents to update and view events in real time. Add all important dates as soon as you have them, including:
School holidays and breaks
Parent-teacher conferences
Extracurricular activities and practices
School events (like open houses or concerts)
Review the calendar weekly to confirm who’s responsible for what. If your parenting plan doesn’t include shared communication about school-related logistics and there is a lot of conflict with the other parent, consider whether an update to your parenting plan is needed.
Don’t send messages through your child about school or activities, or involve them in disagreements about who’s attending an event. Instead, ask: What’s best for them—socially, emotionally, and academically?
Coordinate drop-offs and pick-ups ahead of time.
Transportation is one of the easiest areas for miscommunication to occur… and it often affects the child most. No child wants to be anxious about the schedule. A consistent, clearly-defined routine avoids last-minute confusion.
Follow the custody schedule outlined in your agreement. Keep the handoff process neutra and child-focused. Even in a high-conflict case, your child will be happy about a civil hello and goodbye between parents.
Notify each other—and the school or activity—immediately if there is an emergency that changes the transportation plans.
Keep track of route updates and/or changes in school safety procedures if your child rides the bus or walks.
Attend parent-teacher conferences together… and check the drama at the door.
These meetings are about your child’s growth—not your relationship with your ex. If possible, attend together to show a united front and to make your children comfortable. Children notice if their friends’ parents attend together, but their own parents don’t. If that’s not realistic, make a plan that works for both of you.
Schedule separate appointments if needed—most schools are flexible.
Share updates and report cards with each other, even if it’s by written communication only.
Keep school-related conversations with teachers focused on the student, not custody issues.
Communicate with the school about custody arrangements.
Schools can only follow the information they have. If your custody order has restrictions regarding one parent, be sure the school has a copy of that order. In any event, make sure the school has:
Updated contact info for both parents
A copy of your custody order, if applicable
Clear instructions about pickup permissions and emergency contacts
If anything changes during the year, notify the school immediately.
Final thought: plan ahead, communicate often, and stay flexible.
Co-parenting through the school year won’t always be perfect, but thoughtful planning and respectful communication go a long way.
If your parenting plan doesn’t reflect your school-year needs, or if you’re experiencing repeated conflict around school logistics, our team can help.
We work with Ohio families to build and update custody agreements that protect what matters most—your child’s well-being.
